How To Not Go Completely Feral While Living By Yourself In A Van In The Woods
When I first arrived to Chattanooga at the beginning of my Van Life experiment about a month ago, I started to get a little worried about the possibility of losing touch with civilization. I hadn’t begun working at my new job yet, and I found myself getting inordinately excited about the new frog/lizard/bird/big-ass spider/whatever that visited my campsite. Add to this the fact that I didn’t really know anybody yet and was camping out in the woods with a beautiful, brand new pit toilet mere yards away that was LOCKED, but shining like a beacon in the night with the light inside permanently on (Seriously! What the fuck!), and I began to feel concerned about the possibility that I might turn into an even BIGGER weirdo.
Well, I started working, made some friends, and have managed to make the transition every day or every few days between Dirtbag, Forest-Dwelling, Running Around in the Dirt on Days Off Erin and Professional, Civilized, At Work Erin. In the interest of helping out those of you who have thought about taking up van life, here are some tips. (You may have noticed by now that I like lists…)
1. Keep it clean and organized. I have never enjoyed doing laundry and making my bed so much! I have not believed in making beds for a long time. I mean, you just mess it up again 12-16 hours later, so what’s the point? However, when you live in a teeny tiny space, every square centimeter counts. I feel immensely better when the van is clean, the trash is out, the recycling has been put in the recycling containers of the Whole Foods deli seating area (thanks, Whole Foods!), the van floor is swept, the laundry is done, and things are put away in their proper spaces. Plus, you’re bound to meet some new and interesting folks at the laundromat.
2. Get a pedicure. I did this a couple of weeks ago and felt like a brand-new woman. Granted, I’m not super girly, but I do like to step it up a notch or two now and again, and there’s nothing like having someone else scrub the dead skin off your feet that’s bound to make you feel better. While not at work, I find myself running around in the dirt in Chacos, tromping through the river, and getting attacked by mosquitoes and poison ivy, so a little foot TLC goes a long way. (Important side note here: apparently, nail salons are a common place for young, female, predominantly Asian victims of human trafficking to end up. I’ve been learning a bit more about this recently. I would encourage you to learn more about it too, and keep this in mind when selecting a location to get your feet scrubbed. I’ve attached a few links at the bottom to get you started. :) )
3. Take a stab at online dating again. Wait, Jesus, no! Don’t do that! Well, I mean, maybe do that…if you want to. I’m taking a sabbatical, personally. We’ll see how long THAT lasts. Possible future blog post fodder?
4. Give people a tour of your humble abode. After thoroughly cleaning and organizing your van (see #1), show it off. People will think you’re super cool and hip, and probably want to be your friend! Plus, it will help you feel like less of a weirdo if your dirtbag existence if validated by other people (who probably live in a house with running water and stuff).
5. Baby wipes.
6. Work on your computer at a coffee shop (or the Whole Foods deli seating area. You’re the best, Whole Foods!) After brushing your hair, applying deodorant, and putting on a bra, venture into town to someplace with wifi so you can catch up on e-mail, pay bills, or work on your blog while drinking coffee and really enjoying being the Incredibly Sophisticated Blogger that you actually are. If you’re really lucky, maybe one of your new climbing friends will walk by and tell you how they just spent 7 hours at the gym rotating between doing nursing school pre-req homework on their computer and climbing (this really happened the other day; proof that there are people out there that are ACTUALLY crazier than me.)
7. Girls’ Night! Super important! Especially if you’re a girl. Maybe even if you’re NOT a girl. Guys! I have lots of fun wigs you can borrow, if you feel the need to try this out.
8. Call your mom. Call your dad. Call your sister. Call your friends back home. Hopefully, you’re as lucky as me, and you have those staple people in your life that you can turn to who will regale you with tales from home, and also remind you that you’re not a complete crazy person and actually doing something pretty dang cool.
9. Find someone to house sit for every now and again. Jumping in the river to cool off: feels great! Showering at the gym: feels adequate and necessary. Showering in an actual house that you have to yourself for the weekend: feels awesome! You can catch up on laundry, do some leisurely reading on the couch in the air conditioned living room, and wash and refill your water storage jug. Plus, maybe they’ll have a big, adorable, fluffy dog that you can snuggle with.
10. On the other hand…
At the end of the day, if you decide that you’ve got it figured out and in the interest of balance, you want to retain just a little bit of your new-found wild nature, here’s a bit of wisdom from Women Who Run With the Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes:
“So, I say to you with affection, imagistically- be you a Black wolf, a Northern Gray, a Southern Red, or an Arctic White- you are the quintessential instinctual criatura. Although some might really prefer you behave yourself and not climb all over the furniture in joy or all over people in welcome, do it anyway. Some will draw back from you in fear or disgust. Your lover, however, will cherish this new aspect of you-if he or she be the right lover for you.
“Some people will not like it if you take a sniff at everything to see what it is. And for heaven’s sake, no lying on your back with your feet up in the air. Bad girl. Bad dog. Bad wolf. Right? Wrong. Go ahead. Enjoy yourself.”
Here’s those links I promised:
https://www.vox.com/2015/5/8/8573425/manicure-worker-pay
https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-42729302